Anxiety, Fear, and Awareness
If youâre the kind of person who thinks like me, then you probably worry in anticipation of what is about to go wrong. There is almost always something you are considering, but above that, your thoughts are pervaded with the idea that you need to consider it; that you have to constantly exist in a state of âthinking about somethingâ in order to be prepared for whatever comes next. This creates the belief that we must analyze and re-analyze, consider and reconsider, fixate and over-fixate, or else something catastrophic will happen in our lives and we will be utterly blindsided by it.
It comes as no surprise that this cyclical and destructive way of thinking is so common in the world nowadays. We are constantly blasted with a feed of information that typically fixates on the âbest of humanityâ, perfection, wealth, power, and success. We read articles about famous athletes breaking world records or winning championship games. We see Instagram influencers with perfect bodies and ornate lives. We hear about the courageous efforts of some politician in a battle against other countries and leaders. Society and the media are obsessed with the very best, and we willingly consume it in almost every facet of our lives like a never-ending Black Mirror episode. If we fail to reach the very top, we are lost in a sea of mediocrity. If we fail, we can never be the picture perfect individual that society measures as success. In addition, we are more connected than ever, and with that comes the awareness and fear created by harsh realities of the world; war, famine, injustice, suffering⌠We are constantly exposed to information that creates fear, yet we are infrequently exposed to such fear in scenarios where we can actually confront it. In Ethics, Aristotle states that âby acting in frightening situations and getting habituated to be afraid or to be confident, some of us become courageous and others become cowardsâ. How are we supposed to become âhabituated to be confidentâ when the majority of situations we observe are designed to create fear with no opportunity to face that fear? Knowing that these phenomena are occurring across the world, there is no surprise that we are facing concerning levels of anxiety globally. In the United States nearly 1 in 5 people suffer from an anxiety disorder, yet we have few dependable ways to prevent or avoid it.
This idea that we must be perfect, avoid failure, and rise to the level of the very best is, of course, not true. However, the availability of counter-evidence does not help without an internal awareness of it. The unfortunate fact is that many of us are not even aware that this negative pattern of thought is occuring. How many of us have ever had a deep conversation with our parents or close friends about our mental health? How many people can honestly self-assess their own emotions and anxieties? Where or when is the opportunity to understand what is happening to us?
The mental health landscape is rapidly changing, and this gives us hope for a brighter future. We are just beginning to truly understand how modern society and group behavior impacts our mental and emotional well-being. In particular, we have begun to identify this anxious thinking as the manifestation of fearful thinking in modern society. While the source, cause, and result of this internal fear is unique for many of us, it almost always creates a pattern of negative thoughts and feelings. To overcome this, we need an understanding of what positive thinking is in the context of modern society.
Modern Fearful Thinking
In 2017 I graduated with a PhD in nuclear engineering. You can imagine the intelligent group of students that made up my peers. As graduate engineers, we were educated to understand science and the world through extremely technical eyes. As nuclear engineers, we were specifically trained in statistics and the assessment of risk. As many of us are naturally gifted with strong critical thinking skills, it was quite common for students to develop a bleak outlook on the world; so many things can go wrong, and the reality is that much of our status in life is based on luck: the society we are born into, our demographics, our family wealth or influence, and random chance. As children, many of us were convinced by our parents that we must succeed in school, so that we can succeed in college, so that we can get into a good graduate program, so that we can excel in our careers. No room for failure. Work harder. Be smarter. No exceptions. Itâs not surprising that the rate of anxiety jumps to more than 25% for graduate students.
The problem is, none of this effort actually makes us happy. Those with true wisdom understand that success does not beget happiness, success begets fear; the fear that we will lose that success, or that we never deserved it in the first place. If modern society prescribes the idea of money, intelligence, and success as primary goals for a âgoodâ or âsuccessfulâ citizen, then what is modern positive thinking, and how do we employ it to help us value and enjoy our lives free from toxic fear?
Modern positive thinking should be separate from our intelligence and resilience to handle difficult life situations. It is of central importance that they remain completely independent; we must learn to be both prepared and positive. Consider the alternative, that the ability to see the experiences of your life in a positive way is directly dependent on your capacity for resilience. Imagine driving an old car; being prepared means knowing that old cars break down, that repairs take time and money, and that it is seldom a quick fix. How then are we supposed to enjoy a weekend trip to the beach with the impending gloom of inevitable car troubles? While the obvious answer is to put our worries behind us and enjoy the moment, that just isnât the way that life works and many people are incapable of such difficult compartmentalization. While we may be capable of protecting our vacation from the specific anxieties of car issues, what about issues with a traveling companion, room reservations at the hotel, dealing with crowds, or problems at work when we return? If our capacity for preparation (and in some way of the mind for success) is interwoven with our happiness and enjoyment, then it seems like an impossible task to avoid every avenue leading to fear in order to maintain our delicate state of positivity, and even more futile to protect it when things inevitably go wrong.
If we accept that our capacity for handling life situations is independent from a positive view of life, the challenge then becomes how to create and maintain a state of mind where this duality is possible. How do we achieve the state of being both prepared and positive?
Modern Positive Thinking - A Few Steps
The first step towards modern positive thinking is one that many of us are already familiar with, but may not realize is applicable in our adult lives; we must have the courage to acknowledge our fears. We should accept that things can and do go wrong at times. However, the important part of this acceptance is allowing our proactive thinking to rid us of our obsessions. By appreciating that we know and are aware of these daunting possibilities, we should begin to ignore any fixating thoughts surrounding them. Our proficiency for acceptance comes from the limits of our faculties. Iâll discuss those in detail another time.
The second step is the analysis of the self. This means taking the time for productive introspection within ourselves. When weâve stripped away the constant fear of an uncertain future, we can begin looking for opportunities to grow and prepare ourselves. Our efforts should focus on building the strength and confidence to handle difficult situations through a willingness and desire to learn. In my personal experience, I have found that starting with small things that seem trivial is best. Learn how to cook a new meal, or watch a short online tutorial on how to fix a leaky faucet. The goal is to identify small areas where we can expand our mind, with the added benefit of being able to claim that we are now slightly more knowledgeable and prepared than before. These things may seem insignificant, but they retrain our brain to trust that we have the capacity to adapt to new, even unexpected, situations. This practice is, in a very literal sense, strength training and conditioning for the brain, and will be varying levels of difficulty for different individuals. The important thing to remember is that there is no specific goal to achieve. We do not perform this self-assessment and identify opportunities for growth a finite number of times. We must change the patterns in our minds and assimilate this type of thinking into who we are. Who are you now, and who do you want to be? The answer is a direction, not a destination.
The third step, which is arguably the most challenging to describe, is to foster a positive outlook on what will happen without anticipation or anxiety. By separating our capacity for preparedness from our capacity for positive thinking, we can enjoy the best aspects of each. That way, neither are a detriment to the other. This is perhaps easier to understand with a simple example. Letâs imagine we are about to embark on a road trip. Take a moment to think of something that may go wrong either during the drive or at the destination. Try not to pick something highly unlikely or completely insurmountable (we canât prevent the apocalypse). I envision getting a flat tire during a cross-country drive. Now, without the stress of having to overcome that problem in this moment, imagine how you might solve the problem if it did occur. For me, I imagine watching a video on my phone demonstrating how to change a tire, or (more likely) calling roadside assistance to request help. If you canât immediately come up with a simple solution, thatâs okay. Just spend the next few minutes, or some time over the next few days, and identify a plan for that situation. The end result should be some small amount of confidence that, if something does go wrong, we have the ability to discover a path towards a solution (no matter what it is specifically). Now that we have a solution to our pretend problem, we have to trust in our innate ability to solve other potential challenges, and focus our efforts on what remains. Now comes the best part. Without the suffocating fear of what might go wrong, we are free to start building positive thoughts about our experiences. I can look forward to some time in the car to listen to music or enjoy an audiobook. I can get excited about reaching my destination and spending some much needed time relaxing on the beach. The knowledge that there may be traffic, or I may get a sunburn is completely separate from my positive outlook because I can trust myself to have patience during the drive, or purchase aloe vera from the hotel shop. These two mental pathways do not negatively impact one another; we are therefore both stronger in our capacity for forward thinking and happier in life.
Some Final Thoughts
None of this should come across as a magic solution that will instantaneously change your life. Habits related to mental health are no different than physical health; we must continuously train and course-correct in order to push ourselves towards our goals. The idea here is that, over time, we will attain a new default way of thinking; we leap forward with excitement into the world, while trusting in our faculties to protect us and solve problems when things go wrong. We raise the bar on believing in ourselves while adapting to overcome new trials, and face them with a positive outlook.
I believe historical philosophy, mindfulness, and societal beliefs have given us adequate time to form a foundation for our understanding of the world and the ways in which we interact with it. Whatâs needed now more than ever is a modern approach to critical philosophy that addresses how we build up the faculties to improve our resilience (mental and physical), and how we adopt positive mental patterns that improve our well-being and resilience to adverse environments and interactions.
In future posts I want to introduce these ideas to explore how we can improve the mutual well-being of all individuals. Hopefully this post has provided an opportunity for you to begin discovering a new outlook on life and look forward to a better tomorrow.
Thanks for reading.
